Entry #49

ive been confused for a little bit. me and the guy i like were taking like these tests online that are like "psychopathic test", "love style test", "borderline test" and stuff and it was fun to do with him, but then we did a homophobic test as a joke. i got like 6% affective homophobia, 15% cognitive homophobia, 0% behavioral homophobia, and 7% total homophobia. i sent the results since we both know each other aren't actually homophobic since he's bisexual and like almost all of our friends are lgbt. he got like 100% on everything because he was joking LMFAO but then I sent my results being like "bro how am i homophobic" and he was like "you're homophobic to yourself" and i like i dont even know. i thought that was an absurd thought at first because like, im not necessarily gay. like yeah, ive had a mild attraction to guys before but nothing too serious, hes the only one im serious about but like ugh i dont even know how to explain it. ive mostly dated women so i never thought much about putting a label on myself. but i guess that would make me technically bi or whatever else thats like that. like i dont even really watch like gay porn and stuff so i dont really know i havent experimented much with it. but how would i be like, homophobic to myself if im not even gay or whatever? i dont even understand, how can i be homophobic to myself if i am not homophobic to others? i guess i am just not very educated. its strange to think about for me. maybe ill look back at this in the future and laugh at myself for being a dumbass.