#3

It has been 2 months since i last posted on here and reading my old entries i cant believe how much tunnel vision i had. i stopped oversharing, i started taking care of myself and i stopped fucking to numb my feelings, i hate that i became such a yucky person for a bit but i think it had to happen for me to realize all the things i was missing out on, my ex was constantly harassing me and i was grieving the lost of the person i thought i knew. i don't miss him, its been 4months and i feel like I'm healed from the heart ache, i feel like myself aging and i see a future where i don't depend on someone, i am feeling like one. and i am so fucking happy about it. as I'm writing this we are 2hs and 40mins away from Oct 5th which would have been our 4year anniversary. and i feel nothing, i kind of feel bitchy that i don't but I'm happy that i think of this date as any other. i will always care for him, but i don't love him anymore and that's okay, sad but okay. 

{hes also a crashout that made my life hell for a few months so he can fuck off}

but like always i will turn the other cheek and remeber the good parts.