Correct Password, Please Try Again.

Dear HeySpace,

Oh, how marvelous the security affordances of shit like Two-Factor-Authentication, Security Tokens, Hardware Inlaid Fingerprint Scanners, and all those kinds of things. Really, I bet they prevent so many attacks on our precious accounts here and there, but to be honest, their current integrations in lieu of the rapidly dustifying, encrustifying, antiquitizing password system on the shelf is most disgracefully hindersome to just-logging-the-fuck-in to most platforms and services. Google is so inane--wish I could totally sever the whores, but I'm pretty deep in that blackwater. So it goes, I try to log in to my goddamn email for the fifth time in 30 minutes, and my password just isn't good enough anymore. I'm too suspicious I guess, to check if I got any new promos on lolita lingerie from DevilInspired, or if some retainer wants money from me that I probably duly owe them for well handled services. So it goes, I enter my password: the fun begins. So it continues: rather than being logged in, I'm humored by the funniest god-damn fucking joke I've ever seen in my whole life. "Simplify your sign in" they say, "Make signing in easier with a security key", they say. So... you're telling me... just to simply sign in, to put it simply, to simplify my sign in, I should spend an extra thirty seconds to a minute haggling with this rigamarole, before I get to sign in? My password's no good, huh? Huh? What the fuck do I keep it for then, if it won't get me into my account? I mean seriously, its the word, the pass, the pass-word to get in, but it doesn't serve that purpose it seems. And it is said, they say, that a system's only purpose must be to achieve only what it does: the password system is utterly defunct, replaced in shadow like some kind of proxy-attack on our personal assets, coercing us to pull out another connected device and click 'yes, dear' on some slow ass pop-up that expires if you fucking fiddle your cock for 2 shakes before it even pops up! Clearly, most substantively, Google and other sorts of big cheeses have no more confidence that our passwords can keep us secure, and they're too wise to tell us, so they just jerk us off instead and get our fingerprints while they're at it. Personally, I remember that one Seinfeld episode where the guy goes to the post office to 'Cancel his mail'. That was so real, to be honest, you know. But he was spoiled, a mailbox key will always work without any kind of bio-metric scanner involved.

Best Regards