Entry #47

it constantly feels like someone is watching me again. its like that feeling never goes away, why? ive got black out curtains, ive covered every mirror, i keep the lights on, i even got this weird witch craft thing to put on my door to keep bad spirits away. i am afraid. i dont know why, i just feel like i am being watched everywhere i go. i cover my device cameras with clothes, i dont leave the house alone, i dont know what to do. who the fuck is watching me? whoever you are, get the hell away from me. you are making me sick to my stomach, making my hair fall out, making me wish i could have the audacity to shoot myself without being afraid of what lies behind. what do i think of life? maybe not much. but i know it wont be worth anything if i just live it in fear. i dont want to feel this way anymore. you want a fucking martyr? ill be one.