1 am pity party

I was watching a TikTok that was a poem. It was saying how a girl feels out of place and wishing for someone to call her home. I always hated that word "home". I have had to write what I call home so many times, "what is home to me?". When others would write about it they would mention their family. I always answered the same, home is wherever I am with my cat. I had to learn to find home within myself. There is no one calling me home though. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my cat, I would die for her, but I would also love for another human to be in my home. When I was 13 I got in an argument with someone who I was staying with, her stepdad is my grandpa. In this argument she said something to me that I think about every time I hear the word "home". It was one of the cruelest things someone have said to me, actually its in the top three. She said, "*my name* this is not your home, technically you don't have a home". I remember my mouth opening about to say something but nothing came out. I mean she wasn't wrong. I was staying with complete strangers. No one who i loved or loved me. I also remember feeling that weird pain in your throat when something hurt (emotionally) and you're trying to force it down. I lied and said I needed to use the restroom, my sister (who was visiting) and my uncle (who was visiting) followed me. I couldn't walk much further and stopped in the laundry "room" and started to cry as silently as i could. My uncle then was in front of me and hugged me. After that, I let it all out in his chest. My uncle only could say "its okay" because he knew what she said was true. It was that day that I realized "home" is way more than physical and I didn't have one.  Sorry for my pity party. If you haven't been able to tell, I have depression lol. 






 Oh btw the girl who said this to me was 16 and the argument was about how her friend wanted to hang with my sister and I too.