im so fucking cooked

how do i say this, i want to marry her. i think about her every day. ive dreamed about her. her eyes there so pretty, her smile is contagious, shes uber smart, and even funny.  i felt i just had to express this thought. not being able to say it directly to her is painful. i can call her cute in messages, and even "flirt. but i just want to talk to her in person, im afraid. and i don't know what her feelings are. i think there there but i don't know. i try to say hey when i see her but i dont even know if she sees me. i cant ask her out on a date its not like i have money, a car, or any knowledge of where she likes to go. my blood yearns for her, my mind and soul. like a magnet i am metal to her. im scared, and i dont know what to do. can i even handle a relationship? i dont know, i dont know what to do, if i ask her out and she says no i would die. and i would die for her. but i cant even talk to her. why.... why must i starve like this. it makes me want to scream, its a painless pain. she is so beautiful, and im just me. im not good looking mabey a 6 if i pushed it, i am bare minimum. if someone were to describe me i would look "hes alright i guess, not ugly but i wouldnt date him" and i think its been that way for a while now. and yeah a six at my best. 

im probably just weird or something, kinda my fault for being anti social most of my life. 

regards, mother fuvking R