A letter to my future children.

Hello sweetheart (s),

this is Your mother at age 18. I just really want to tell You how wanted You are.

I'm just 18 and I'm not trying for a child yet, however, if I would accidentally end up pregnant, I would be overjoyed either way. I don't know what the future will bring, but what I want to tell You is that I do not want a partner and most parents are couples. However, I really long to have a child that could call me mum. And of course, it's still valid - this is called a single mother by choice. Of course, You will probably also get male attention from people like my brother or my male friends.

Anyway, usually it takes 2 to make a baby. However, I do not desire closure with someone else this way, but I am still willing to do it solely for the purpose of holding You in my arms already. It's also likely that You will be conceived by something known as artificial insemination, where the woman gets pregnant without a man. This is very expensive, but I'm more than willing to save money for it, that's how much I love You already. Maybe You will be adopted, which will mean that a different woman gave birth to You, but it won't mean You were unwanted. Remember, You were actually wanted so much that Your true mum, me, kept praying and praying since her teen years for the gods to bring her a child. 

By the day I'm writing this, You are probably not even alive yet. But I don't care, I still love You more than anything. I don't care who You'll turn out to be, I already love You unconditionally. I think I love You even more than my cat and my sister. You're the reason I keep pushing through life, You're my hope. All I want for You is to be happy and have a loving household, to have a happy childhood, and I promise, I promise on the gods, that I will do everything in my power to make it happen. 

I know this pain when I see a pregnancy announcenment is worth it, because it just pushes me further to remember what I need. My precious, I have to say, that You will probably save my life from depression. As a teenager I struggled a lot. There were times when I wanted it all to end. But remember, I love You so much even before You were born. Unless You'll be adopted, You are most likely not even alive yet, but I already love You so much. This is how stronger a mother's love is. Of course not all mothers are like this, but I swear I will do anything I can to be the best mother ever.

With love,

Your mother in the past

A song I dedicate to You

2024-09-25, 5.23 PM