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I’m at school and it’s not even 10am yet and I’m already feeling sick and awful, what I mean by that is that everyone is so much better than me by looks and actives while me? I’m just a kid in band who looks like a piece of garbage all the time and a pile of junk, fat, ugly, greasy hair, in baggy pants that fit me, I can’t even cover up the fact that I’m fat.
I went to go pick up my cousin that I barely ever see at school and gosh is she prettier than me, not just her but everyone in my mom’s family is, why couldn’t I end up like any of them?
I’m in gym rn and in soccer ig not rlly playing, I have marching band practice later and I honestly just want to d13 already
(Got a school shooting threat for this week, maybe today is the day or tmr, can’t wait to get sh0t)
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amiga1000
i see a lot of these on spacehey tbh and while i know i don't necessarily need to stop and tell you this - i just wanna let you know that as someone who went through a similar headspace in school, this is not your peak.
for the most part, social stuff in school doesn't really matter? as long as you're not outwardly a dick/sociopathic to people you should be fine. me personally, i only remember the really crazy shit and the really heartwarming stuff.
99% of the time, the people who look like they have it figured out really don't - even if they think they do. your thing, the thing that you're good at and love, whatever that may be, will come to you in time. it might already be with you now and you don't even realize it.
i know that right now in this moment things feel like shit perpetually, but the beautiful thing about life is that it's constantly shifting and changing. you are just beginning existence - you have not "ended up" anywhere yet. if you see something in your life that you are unsatisfied with, you are the only person who can make that change. it won't always be or feel easy, but it's worth it.