coming out

i've wanted to come out to my family for a long time now, but i've been very afraid to. today while laying in bed, i made the impulsive decision to just go for it. 

i had drafted my coming out text months ago, but decided to rewrite it a little before i sent it. i decided to do it while i was alone, so it could be my personal moment of solidarity i guess lol. i had my dog curled up in my lap and i was petting him as i hit send on my paragraph long text, then turned off my phone for a few hours to take a nap and spend time with my dog and boyfriend.

a few hours later i turned my phone back on and sat with my boyfriend to read any texts i may have gotten. i sent my coming out text to my grandma, mom, and brother, though my brother has already known that im trans for a little while now. my mother didn't say anything to me, i think she might be taking time to process and think about what to say, which i understand. my grandma was the person i was more concerned about. she isn't homophobic or transphobic or anything, but i freaked myself out and convinced myself that she might have an issue with me being trans since she's religious. 

she ended up being the only one to text me, and she basically told me she thought i had been questioning my identity, and that she loved me no matter what. she asked me to be patient as she makes the change in her mind, and she couldn't have been sweeter about it. it made me cry like a baby, i was so afraid of losing her and i feel so much better knowing this won't affect my relationship with her. 

overall i think it went well! i feel extremely relieved to finally get it off my chest, and im so glad i did it. i kinda cant believe that i actually successfully did it, since ive been secretly identifying as a man for almost a year now. i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and im so so so so grateful to my family for being accepting of me so far.