personal social rules pt. two

is it selfish to want to be celebrated and to not want to be the emotional sensitive one all of the time? what if i just want a break from holding everyone's emotions so close to my chest and protecting them? 

empathy is supposed to be a good trait but it's one of the most damaging things i do to myself, by having it. but it's toxic to not hold space for someone that cares about you when they're hurting and it's selfish to take time for yourself and it's rude to tell someone these boundaries when everything is already happening so why even try?

i'm so tired. i want to heal and i want to feel okay about myself again but how am i supposed to begin the healing process if i never have the time, space, or mental capacity for just me?