inside my mind pt1 <3

lately I've been thinking about my life more. Being a teenage girl is a whole rollercoaster in itself. I'm only 14 and I feel like I've already experienced so much. What more is there to do? And why do I even do all this?

It's kind of sad to think that not everyone gets to experience some things that i have. Going to the mall with my friends every few weeks, Getting snacks from the food court with my mom and talking about boys, etc.

Then again, those kind of things don't exactly make me happy. I mean sure in the moment its fun, and the memories of it are something I'll probably never forget. But in the long run shopping or going out or whatever is temporary. The feeling i get from it isn't there a day or two after.

So then.. what will? What will actually give me permanent happiness? Well I'd say my partner or my friends and while that wouldn't be entirely wrong, nobody knows how long they're really gonna be here so its best to not only depend on others for happiness. What makes me truly happy is.. well.. myself. I take care of myself, I do things i enjoy doing, I talk to myself about basically anything. I do things for myself that others never have. This might sound kind of self-centered but it's true. 

anyways, enough of my yapping. bye now~ xoxo