hmm

i dont even know how to start but a few poibts ibwant to touch on: i hate borderline begging fot some affirmation/confirmation - does he feel like im not being genuine?honestly i need to be under the influence LOL to say something to you otherwise i geel like i am a nuisance we started off wrong where did it not go right i odnt wanna say wrong but i feel like i messed up somewhere along the way but also why say so many things and not follow through with them im honestly so weak its lowk sad and its due to the fact literally any other situation and emotion i can handle properly with little harm to myself but when it comes to my romantic endeavors i feel like i want to rip my skin off and i honestly cannot handle my feelings its so overwhelming but also why not say anything on your end good or bad let me down or take me on idk if that makes sense its honestly so frustrating we are equally as indecisive but i know for my fact ive been more vocal so its his turn but no its not he owes me nothing and i think thats what im startong to notice this is whete im asking are you just being nice when im on verge of spilling my feelings for you and honestly thats ehat i think it is i need to get over it LOL fuck my stupid baka life ong like i dont even know if hes picking up what im putting down OR if he notices what im putting down and he doesnt want to pick it up OR if im just dumb for putting anything down but why say all these things also maybe im interpreting those things properly and im crazy im just so unhapot woth myself and the way i communicate i quite literally vant handle liking someone also im upset with him but im not i think hes happy and honestly i just gotta shut up