Entry #34

i know this isnt like my usual blogs, and again i dont expect anyone to read these blogs so sorry if you actually force yourself to do it. but i really wanna ramble about fear and hunger stuff since i dont want to bother my friends about it or my mom. i made a twitter post yesterday that was like 2 different types of people being like "i suffered, why shouldnt they?" and then "i suffered, and ill do my best to help people because of it" and i decided to make pav the first one and marcoh the second because i thought itd be funny and they were all i could think of, though i could have replaced pav with someone else like samarie or something. but i have been getting a lot of qrt and comments being like "can we normalize hating pav" and stuff being like "i fucking hate pav hes rancid and even though he might have his excuses he still sucks" and im just like ??? because i post all the time about how i fucking love pav and stuff. like, yeah hes selfish and a piece of shit lowkey, but hes literally supposed to be an antagonist. his entire family and town got burnt to the ground by kaiser, so of course hes not just gonna fucking go on in the white bunker and murder him alone. so he joined kaiser's army to get closer and eventually kill him. thats like the whole reason he's even in prehevil in the first place. his character is great, his backstory is great, his design is amazing, hes literally like a top 5 fan favorite. its crazy to me that people just completely ignore his backstory and reduce him to a dumbass nazi or something. and speaking of reducing characters, i hate how the fandom treats levi. he has an AMAZING backstory where he already grew up in a dogshit ass house with his dad being an abusive drunkard and his mom trying to be there for him, his dad murdering his mom while he gets taken into an orphanage that was arguably worse, then later gets conscripted into the army at like 13 years old in the frontlines during fucking ww2. has to use heroin to overcome his traumas, then becomes a deserter and flees to prehevil since he has nowhere else to go. then people look at that shit and IMMEDIATELY only reduce him to being a freaky ass heroin addict. WHAT THE FUCK. i love levi with my whole heart and its like stabbing me in the chest with a knife and twisting it every time i see levi only being seen as a heroin addict. yeah, i joke about it sometimes too. some jokes are even funny about it. but like, why? i hate that about a lot of games where characters are dumbed down. or if theyre completely misread like d'arce. maybe even abella. i hate the headcannon that d'arce and abella are trans mtf. not because im transphobic, but because its just a horrible headcannon in my opinion. they only do d'arce because she's a knight and has short hair. thats like saying women cant have short hair or they cant be masculine and stuff. in game, cahara literally calls her dollface because shes a very feminine woman, so it just doesnt make sense to me. then abella being trans mtf is like COMPLETELY disregarding her entire character and lore. shes a mechanic, so she has muscle. okay. again, why cant women just be masculine without being trans? then when she gets moonscorched, she turns into her biggest insecurity which is depicted as some buff ass elephant tearing out of her clothes with a very masculine appearance. her fucking insecurity is that she doesnt appear feminine enough to be a woman since shes constantly surrounded by men in her workplace and her job is a fucking mechanic. IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME. but i dont go out hating on people that headcannon that because its none of my business and i might as well just let people have fun since its just a stupid ass game, but i just wanted to talk about things i dont like.