Sensitive and Dramatic

I don't really like being treated like rudely, I know I might be very sensitive about it but I really don't like it.. 

I am okay when friends hit me jokingly but it really hurts, it makes me trigger my fears that I might get hurt, slapping or pulling my hair reminds me of my past, I don't call it trauma since its not serious, but I really get scared when I get hit even if it's not intentionally, but I don't wanna lose our friendship so I just don't talk about it

I always feel left alone to people, I always cry in the schools bathroom, crying and thinking that my new classmates hate me for what I did, I really hate myself, I absolutely hate myself. 

I don't fit in with anyone. I feel like shit, I really don't like feeling this way. 

I like the school I'm in but, I feel like I'm a nuisance to everyone, I wish that I should just die already, it would be better if I was gone, I wish I was dead already. I want to die. I want to die. I hate it. I don't want to live. 

This isn't related to my friends in the old school