got fired

im so fucking angry. the only way i can describe how i feel is angry and anxious. my employers never once explained BLUNTLY what i was doing wrong. i told them up front i need blunt and i need direct and I NEVER GOT THAT. and i got fired and didnt understand and i was basically told "the fact that you dont know what you did wrong scares me as a manager." which baffles me because like

you didnt properly train me

you didnt tell me what i could and couldnt do

you didnt give me hard rules

yes i know some things SHOULD BE common sense but i genuinely have a hard time with stuff like that! i have common sense but sometimes i dont know things!

they said its a pretty relaxed job but i think thats what made things worse. because its relaxed they never were blunt with me or explained things properly. i didnt know i was doing things wrong. there was maybe 2 things i knew i messed up and fixed, but i was never directly approached and it was all over text and my explanations were taken as excuses. 

im just so tired and now i have no job and im about to have surgery in around AN HOUR that ill be unable to work for 3 weeks because of

i cant get a new job for 3-4 weeks! i cant fucking handle this