Autumn

Welcome back, dear reader, into the thoughts inside my little head. I would like to apologize for my absence, for life is a hectic series of events and I have been barely able to swim. But as Summer wanes for the new moon of Autumn to wax into Winter, I feel my brain once again coming alive with thoughts, expression to be put into the world, for the few of you, dear readers. For you see, Summer kills any sense of spirit I have to create, to truly think and discuss.

But alas, dear reader, Autumn is approaching, is it not? That fact in itself brings myself joy, the smell of the rot and decay of leaves in the air is beautiful. Not in the sense that it is life, but simply in the sense that it is life. Death begets life, and life begets death, and that entire cycle is just beautiful, isnt it? The deep, natural scent of Autumn is something that gets me thinking about both. And as the weather finally cools down, its wonderful to finally be able to open your door, leave home and enter reality. 

Autumn is something that just makes me feel alive. As the heart dies during the endless, disgusting heat of Summer, with the cool wind and decay of Autumn, it feels like it all comes flooding back to me. As well, though, comes the frustration. I cant bring myself to write during those times, and all that ever does is stagnate what i built up during the winter and spring. So it feels like, in a sense, as the world begins to decay I have to bring myself to handle the decay of my own being. Creatively, mentally, my brain feels like it becomes a soup and I have to once again build it back up. A process which takes time, effort, learning, and discussion.

But, all the same, I am happy to do it every time. I try to come up with some point or meaning to most of these, but I guess the only meaning is the fact that maybe its okay to not be able to create. Its okay, dear reader, if for a while you cannot pick up what before you could not put down. You simply need to be able to take it again when its ready. Giving up is the real thing that will kill your soul, not resting.

So I ask, dear reader, do you deal with seasonal depression or something of that ilk? If so, what gets you through those moments?

With love and an attempt of grace,

Rachel Rose