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Category: Writing and Poetry

Invisible.

It always starts with the same thought. 
"No one cares, and no one would notice." 

The rational part of me knows that is not true. There's a part of me that knows, in theory, someone out there could see the difference between my presence and the lack of it. 
That's when the second thought comes in.
"You are only a burden to those around you."
The compassionate part of me that fights to show others they are cared for knows that is not true. There's a part of me that knows, in theory, my actions have had a positive impact on at least one person. 
But in spite of knowing those thoughts are tricks my mind plays on me, I have a difficult time fighting them off. My emotions come and go in waves, and while normally the ebb and flow can be predictable, once in a while it all comes crashing down on me, making me feel as if I am drowning underneath the surface of the water. 
And that's the unfortunate thing about drowning. A lot of people think it looks like someone splashing around, screaming for help because they know someone will hear them.
But real drowning makes no sound. It is silent, and unrecognizable unless you really know what to look for. You would not know unless you were observant. You are trying to save any little breath you have just so you can continue to breathe for a little while longer, all while hoping that someone, anyone can see you and know that you need help. Because you cannot ask for it yourself, no matter how much you try. 
Unfortunately, that is how I'm feeling right now. I'm doing what I can to keep my head above water. I'm using all I have to make sure I can take my next breath. 
But I wish someone would see me. 


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_ᦓꪶꪖꪻꫀ᥅_

_ᦓꪶꪖꪻꫀ᥅_'s profile picture

You don’t have to be something special, or have to accomplish anything. The fact you are alive and here, that matters. If you ever need someone to drown with count me in, I can spare some extra air


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Thank you.

by Ada; ; Report

B w u l f

B w u l f's profile picture

I’m not sure I could say anything that can break through the negative thoughts you are having but I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you are NOT alone


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Thank you so much. It does help to be reminded.

by Ada; ; Report

The BX Prodigy Zav Merk

The BX Prodigy Zav Merk's profile picture

This is really how it be you not alone If you ever need to vent im here


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Thank you.

by Ada; ; Report

You're welcome

by The BX Prodigy Zav Merk; ; Report

N30V3N0M

N30V3N0M's profile picture

Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Just know that there are people out there that are there for you, even if it's just to listen. I always thought to myself, "what's the point of telling people why I'm sad? It will just bring down the vibe/mood" but whenever I apologize for mentioning something that might be considered sad or depressing, some people are glad that I shared it with them because if I kept it bottled up, things would have just gotten worse. Sometimes, even just mentioning that you are sad and even crying a little will help make you feel better.


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Thank you. Honestly, that's kinda why Inside Out is one of my favorite movies. A lot of what needed to be done got done because of Sadness. She was just as important.

by Ada; ; Report

Scott Oakjaw

Scott Oakjaw's profile picture

;____; I see you.


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Thank you, Scott.

by Ada; ; Report

Acari

Acari's profile picture

the way this just hit me :(

YOU ARE SEEN ADA


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Thank you.

by Ada; ; Report