personal social rules

i'm not sure why i struggle so much to understand social cues and norms, or how to function as a basic human being. i can't have a simple conversation with someone about boundaries without struggling, and i can't comprehend rules of relationships because they have never been explicitly written out or verified for me. i think that's why i get so anxious sometimes; everyone has their own version of how the world should work, and we unknowingly break others' rules all the time. defining the unspoken boundaries of each relationship isn't a normalized thing. cutting someone off in traffic because you are running late has no explanation, and nobody stops to hear the other person's side when it happens. hanging out with a female friend as a man is considered cheating to some, but not others. we can't possibly know the societal rules of someone's personal world without some sort of clarification, right? so is it unfair to get hurt when someone's action or reaction goes against the rules of our own personal world? of course, there are some rules in society that are universally accepted as "normal", and only a small percent of people would disagree with them. society tends to find the outliers within itself and excommunicate them swiftly once a norm is broken. outside of universally accepted societal norms, it's so difficult to tell what others expect of you and align yourself according to their rules. you risk damaging relationships for the sake of your own rules every day.