i am a pathetic piece of human garbage

i deserve absolutely nothing. no happiness, no human needs, no food, no water, nothing. i keep on fucking every single aspect of my life up. atp i should accept that i wasn’t supposed to be born. there is no reason why im alive. i keep on destroying everything i love. this is what i get when i do something i want to do that’s fun. it was overwhelmingly idiotic of me to think nothing would crumble. im so fuckijf tempted to cut myself its getting hard to control. i deserve to feel how much it hurts anyway.