Overthinking pianist

I may not be the best, but I try my best to play my piano, I don't have classes (I don't have money to pay them) so I kinda just do what looks right and what I see on internet; I have this piano for like 1 year, but only now that I started to understand how this isn't just a instrument. Piano has helped me a lot recently, I'm an anxious, pessimistic and mainly overthinking person, so I always looked for smt to fill my mind and make me forget ab everything that is around me, but everything that I tried wasn't working, even drawing that is like something that always filled me wasn't helping; so I stared to give my best on playing even though I knew I wasn't the best (that was the reason for why I didn't play so a lot before) and I realized that playing the piano made me happy, made my mind finally rest after a terrible day, made me stop thinking ab negative things, it felt like a deep breath. I already felt this feeling before coming from the piano but I never rly had time to enjoy it more, approximately one month left for school come back and I'm happy that I found smt to stop my negative thoughts and keep me alive until there. Thanks Piano 🫂.

Note: I haven't been posting so much here bcs things inside my head haven't been very good, so I was afraid I would have a lot of mistakes in English because of this, but I still alive don't worry besties. -PRV★