Why I like being single....then some days I dont like it

I think every time I think of getting romantic, but a big part of me has been through the mill. 
And a BIG part of me goes....shoot we do that again and boom it might not workout. Some say, thats not the attitude to have, but sorry. I would rather avoid something major. In the long run. Building all that up for them just leave. iiii 

I am better off being alone. And even then how do I tell someone "I want to date you but I also want my freedom and date other people?!" LOL I mean I look at hugh hefner and how he managed to date 3 people at once. It can be done. I do believe in some states its even legal. 

But I dont know....I look at the breaks to myself as good ones, I find I usually focus on my goals and come to realize in the dating department are not always going to be on my team rooting for me. Some get jealous and what the heck is the point of that? I would rather not. Of course someone is going to get jello when they aint got jack shhh going on!! 

I think in general I only stick to certain people in my heart that I know basically are not a waste of my time in the slightest. 


I dont want my heart to get walked all over. 

My past in the dating world, I was always was one the carrying a relationship. Perhaps even borderline giving too much sugar. I dont wanna be that guy. I fall through hard times be there for me like I would <3 

Leaving me in the dark, while I been good, out going, telling you how much I love then provide whatever I can way more than I should even cutting myself short not even caring because I love that hard. Not anymore. 

My one friend said to me "You deserve to be spoiled too" 

<3 

Hyd?!!!!! 

love, 

a