Forward thinking

I need something to look forward to. Lucky for me, I have two big things I'm looking forward to. One is kind of pathetic and the other is a big change. I'm gonna see my work crush again in three weeks. Every year before the school year starts, everyone from the YMCA has to do these training about classroom management, behaviors, etc, for about three days. It's the only days where you see everyone who works with the Y. I made a promise to myself that the next time I see him, I'd ask for his number. Despite how down I've been feeling lately, I don't want it to get in the way of doing this. Right now, it's the only thing that makes sense to me. Everything has felt so hectic and sad, thinking about him has been one of the few things keeping me grounded and having something to look forward to; I just want to see him again. I know I sound so delusional, but I haven't felt this lonely in a long time. He made it so easy to imagine a world where I'm not dealing with everything alone, where I have someone to lean on. I'm 100% certain nothing is truly gonna come of me and him, sometimes my dreams are just dreams and nothing more. I just can't remember the last time I felt this hopeful. Which leads me to the other thing I'm looking forward to, I'm pretty I'll be moving out in the next month or so. Full independence will start before the end of this year. I'm trying to keep myself hype about and not spiral and so far it's been working, it could be because I'm not really thinking about it. But I then went on pinterest for a bit and found some inspiration for my bedroom and got excited again. Obviously I have more to look forward to, it's just been kind of difficult trying to find things fun again. This feeling will go away it has before, it does feel different as an adult though. Anyways, others things I have to look forward to is the first day of school, my Olivia Rodrigo concert, my family trip to Mexico. Although, I'm not sure if I am looking forward to that last one. Whatever, it's something. I don't know what the point of this blog is, I'm just trying to do something that isn't thinking about the fact that I'm not with my friends right now.