I Am (Very Much Not) Prepared for My Seventeenth Birthday

Welp, turning like another age in a little less than THREE MONTHS

17 IS COMING SOON

And good god, boy, I am very ill prepared for this

I am UNready

Like, life at sixteen is a hell of a thing as is

Not quite nightmare-ish, as in, no one is really EXPECTING you to have it all figured out by then

But like, holy shit, you have your license to strive for, jobs to potentially begin looking into, and a whole life path of possible careers to think about

And that's just what 16 brings to the table for us to worry about- with all that being said, seventeen has more surprises in store for pressure- from uni and college picks, to solidifying your hobbies, to rethinking your friendships, to examining your life's philosophies and such

Not to mention, birthdays are less and less fun and happy and such

To be honest, the results I saw from my last few kinda let me down, expectation wise

They were quiet little celebrations, that lasted barely two days

And on my last birthday, my 16th, I had my life and safety and general feeling of security subtly threatened on a Snapchat convo that was mildly terrifying

So fun stuff to remember

I expect nothing good from this year's birthday to come

Presents-wise- I'd probably be interested in some new stuff for creative work- a typewriter, a guitar, a new phone- and maybe a new bike since both of mine are dealing with.....issues

Life-wise- before, I would say a girlfriend or higher grades- now.....still that, but with some success in my passions/hobbies and some actual peace of mind for my consistently unhappy, unstable self

I'm having a crisis of faith, existentialism and future

Someone help me please, for I cannot handle aging any further

But seriously, life is painful but priceless

Mostly more painful than priceless

Dreadfully sorry about the long ass post of doom and gloom

May become better off soon, may very well much not be

Who knows

See ya about when I am happier