Acceptance (TW?) ---- Blog Entry 2

Over the years acceptance has been a big part of my life. Because when I was younger, I went to church often it was something that was a part of my life since I was a kid I participated in events and the "youth group". Around the age of 7 I was baptized. If you don't know Baptism is a symbol of cleansing it represents washing away past sins and desire to start a new life. A few months after I was baptized, I started to feel different about a friend you know how little kids often have crushes and it would've been "normal" if that person was a boy. In my head I thought maybe I'm confused so I pushed those feelings deep down. A year had gone by I still thought about those feelings that day I went to church and as usually we prayed, I asked God "What's wrong with me?" after we headed back to the classroom an older girl asked the teacher how she felt about people who are Trans her response "I believe God made you the way you are, and you shouldn't change that." The comment had replayed in my head for a while. In reality I was just scared I felt as if there was no one I felt alone. A lot of the time my parents made comments about people they thought were gay some like "It's a Menta illness" or saying "There must be something wrong in their head" the list goes on and on. One day I took the risk of telling someone it was late at night I sat on the floor while being on a call with a friend in the same room with my brothers unsure if they were awake, but I took my chances for a minute it was quiet, but she finally said something "I accept you" those are words I'll never forget. It felt as if I lifted something heavy off my chest. The relief I felt was unreal around 2020 I came to terms with myself of course I still kept it to myself for the time being but eventually I made friends who had accepted me. Still the guilt of it was still there. I've heard people told me "Being gay is a choice." In my head I asked myself if it was a choice why would I choose to be harassed, targeted, called slurs, bullied, having my own family dislike me, having my life on the line, and much more? But people will still say what they want but it won't change anything if anything I've been happier with myself then I have ever been I found people who will accept me, I learned that people will always have some reason to hate me, and that I should just live my life to the fullest it shouldn't be centered around what people will think about me I only have one life so why waste it?