im lost again and need advise

I don't know how it is possible to get your heart broken 3 times in 2 weeks but it happened for some reason the music is better when you can feel every lyric and sing it with your broken heart there is some beauty in brokeness but i will tell you what happend the first 1 happend was when a boy i loved i really did start to try to break it by sending a video of him touching a girl butt with clothes on but still wtff so i was trying my best to not go into spycho mode cus it was not worth it I know blocked him some time goes by and he was in the background of a call and he was like add me again and i was first like no but then i was like i already showed my boudaries by going to no contact let's see what he has to say and we talked and he apoliged and told me he just wanted to see my reacting so was like wtf again i believe you should not speak to insecure boys they will pull shit like this to get velidation this cus let me tell you that boy has enough girls on his phone i live an hour and a half away there is no need for my attention because he has a girl who wants to have sex with him close by so you can't tell me this is all a game he has to have some kind of interested in me but its not enough cus he doesn't wanna grow up but yeah what i was talking about how he managed to break it he told me that he loved me and i didn't wanna believe it at first but then he was acting really different so when i saw him he asked me to be his girl and don't get me wrong i was really happy like in cloud nine but he is a dealer and he gave me a vape that night a new one i was going out in Amsterdam and i lost my vape and cigarettes yeah he gave me one but also 100 euro worth of MDMA for free  i believe you don't give people you love drugs and he told my friend like tell me if she does drugs then its over so i blocked him the next day because he was being off and different and i didn't feel like i was his girlfriend so i kinda broke it myself by stepping away cus now drugs and love is being mixed and it is not a great a start but i think about him all the time and even see him in my dreams i really did love him so i had sex with the boy that was my first love in hopes that i would forget about him

the second time is cus my bunny is dying i know how lame it sounds but i really loved that bunny he has parasites and we got medicine for it to work but he had a bad day so I'm really hoping he is still here tomorrow its kinda mixed cus my grandpa has cancer i cant handle things that are dying right now with everything

and last but not least even though I'm trying to not give shit i can't help it but gave shit my best friend has a toxic boyfriend and he tried everything to end this friendship between me and her and  lie a lot like really a lot but she asked me like its really over right now and i need you to be here for me and she just went back and lied about it so yeah there goes another friendship cus i can't deal with this right now plus her boyfriend is best friends with the guy that lied about loving me and he called me anonymous to just breath i don't know he wasn't saying anything until i heard my best friend on the background and she took over its really weird but yeah I'm lost right now i did drugs again yesterday after a long time to feel some joy i walked 10 miles in one day to forget him i don't feel anything and everything at once

does anyone have to advise? cus is feel like I'm supposed to feel like I'm at rock bottom