For the rest of your life ---- Blog Entry 1

Genuine question how does one figure out what to be in life? My parents recently brought up the question "What do you want to be" as any family member would but I didn't have a response. One parent stated they couldn't picture what I wanted to be as I always came off as shy. I get that comment a lot since I was a kid, teachers always had one word to describe me as "Shy". But I never corrected them because they weren't wrong nor was my parents. They had always told me to pick a career or make my own company never to get a job because "You don't want to be working for someone else make your own rules be your own boss." But in my head, I thought if I made my own company what would it be centered around would it even work? And for careers I never had one in mind or at least one I stuck to of course the thought of having to choose one has always been there, but I had never come up with a conclusion. When I was younger, I wanted to be a youtuber, but I thought I had nothing special about me that people would actually want to watch me, so I gave up on that dream. Then I wanted to be an artist that lasted for a while until school actually hit me and I had no time for art anymore. In my 14 years of living those had been my choices for careers only two and I gave up on both. Sure, I have many hobbies but none that I wanted to pursue for the rest of my life I want to do something I enjoy I'm not saying I don't enjoy my hobbies, but I can't seem to see myself pursuing them for the future. And I've tried in the past doing instruments, singing, dance, sports but I stopped because I felt uncapable of doing them or just felt like I made no progress even after loads of practice, so I dropped them. Every time the question is brought up in schoolwork, I lie I put something different every time because I genuinely have no clue what I want to be. But I fear that I might never know but it feels like I have too for two reasons. One I'm almost done with school I have my four years of high school and I need to pick something so I can study to be it. Two this one may seem interesting to some, but I have always seen people saying, "You are here for a reason." And I want to know that reason why me? What was I put on this earth to do? So, I leave here with this question for you what do you want to be and why?