Diary entry #2

I fucked up big time. I saw him and I couldn't help but think of everything that could be. but then he opens his mouth and I realize why I left him. He says the most disgusting things and doesn't realize it. " Have you fucked anyone?" "did they fuck better than me" ANYTHING BUT BE FUCKING NORMAL. but I'm more of a fuck up than him because knowing THIS I still let him touch me, IM SO FUCKING STUPID. Thinking lust would fix the issues we were facing but it just made it even more awkward and weird. I felt disgusted that I thought so low of myself. he made me feel so wanted. 

he wasn't ready, he just wanted to feel that same love we use to. so did i. but we just ended up feeling even more empty. I forgot the way he felt and it honestly wasn't the best reminder. I hate myself for doing it. I was drunk.horny.depressed and have no clue what I was thinking.

FUCK THIS.