Diary entry #1

I think I have unfortunately hit rock bottom within the mountains of indie, coming of age,teenage dream bullshit.

I got out a a 4year relationship, he took my virginity and he was my first love. I didn't think all the things people say happens, happens. I lost the 25pounds I gained when I was with him and ive sadly fell into the trap of online hookups. I feel powerful knowing I have the ability to pull men into my trap so easily but so worthless that they will never view me the way he did. I don't miss him at all, I think I'm actually starting to hate him, not him but what he has become as of when we broke up. I'm starting a new job and started driving at the late age of 19. I was unemployed for 2 months for the first time in years and it was hell. unemployment, no car, growing up, break up and an unfilled need to be fucked. my manic eps send me into a never ending cycle of unfinished projects, sad hinge dates, binge drinking and arguing with my mom about how I haven't been eating. IM BECOMING THE WORST VISION OF MYSELF and im sad to say I don't care enough to change.