103 days.

103 days since I was put through hell by the hands of my parents. 103 days since my whole view on my family changed forever. 103 days since another scar was left. 103 days since and I still cry, because that day i wanted to kill myself. 103 days and somehow, everyone has moved on. except me. ive always known there was something wrong with my family, and now im sure of it. they only decided to love me when i caved in and said sorry, but i was never sorry. i did it to survive.

"Liar"   "i never lied..... i wanted to help you.."

"connecting invisible dots, making a story out of nothing"  "im real. raine, echo theyre real. fuck you"

"you did it for attention" "i did it becuase i wanted this life to be over"

"you wanted to hurt us" "i knew i was, but i thought i was helping."

"you lied to everyone, you lied to your friends"  "i told my friends becuase i was scared..."

"you ruined everything, i thought we could trust you" "i ruined everything, i thought i could trust you."

"spreading false stories and damaging everything" "..."

"you made her feel bad, you made (BLANK) feel hurt, its all your fault" "maybe they should feel bad."

"you need to be offline, because clearly your learning something off of there." "im not learning anything, at least not in your eyes."

"why didnt you come to us? you trust your friends more than your own parents?" "how could i even look at you after what you did."

"a total utter breach of trust. thank you, (DEADNAME)" "my name is percy. and after you said this, i wanted to kill myself."

"i cant go into the house until (DEADNAMES) gone." "does everyone in this family think im a monster?"

"you had no empathy yesterday, and that isnt normal. theres something wrong with you." "echo was trying to protect me, from you. you stabbed me through my leg."

"you need to apologise, now. everyone is hurt becuase of you and you need to do something about it." "i was bedridden when you told me this. I wanted to die, but even in that moment of feeling like i lost everything i knew it was never worth apologising to you."

"so what if your fourteen? thats even more reason to be mature and take responsibility for what you did" "im 14. im not an adult, stop fucking treating me like one. stop blaming me for everything. i cant be the one to hold up your mess anymore."

Those words repeat in my head every single day.