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No True Future
I have hope for a future
Where the sky can be seen,
Dirt clears from the air,
But I know it just won't come.
I have hope for a future
Where rain falls from the clouds,
Water seeps into the soil,
But it's never gonna happen.
I have hope for a future
Where we are able to walk free,
When the children can laugh and play,
If only they could.
I have hope for a future
Where life and freedom are the same,
When there are birds, and sun, and warmth,
But it seems so far away.
I've held out hope
For far too long,
Nothing is going to change,
Just give up already.
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eVicted
I really like the concept behind this and as silly as it sounds it reminds me of a DDLC poem (look it up if you don't know what I mean)
I think the core idea of this is pretty simple and straightforward. You kind of repeated the same thought under different words and I think a nice touch would be to use more metaphors and innuendos to express what you're trying to communicate. I really liked the final verse, it kind of broke the 4th wall and made the whole poem feel more impactful. Keep up the good work and never stop writing!
PS im not expert this is simply my opinion