7/8/2024 boy talk >_>

Hiiii!! I'm not dead!!! It's been like.. a whole month since my last blog. Anyway, I got with that guy. Uhmm I'm not sure if I'm even into him... No, I know I'm not but rn he's the only source of male affection I got rn so I'll keep him for a bit longer. He knows I don't truly love him and even he asked for a "not serious" relationship. I fer sure think he's talking to other girls though. I don't care really. 

I think I have a crush on this one guy though.. He makes music and stuff, he's not like REALLY good but he's really good. I love listening to his music and imagine he's singing about meee. I've known about him for a while, and I'd say we're considerably close. Enough to say we're friends at least. He's a few years older so I do have to wait until I'm 16 to actually try yk. That might be tmi but who cares. He's not really the best person either, he made mistakes but yk forgive and forget. I love everything about him. And have for a while. Throughout 2023 I had a bf, and in 2022 I was in and out of a couple relationships..I'm not getting into that. 2024 I've been talking to guys yeah but none of them last. Like, at all. They see me for my looks and body and how I'm "oh so nice and kind." I said "and" like three times in one sentence, gosh my 8th grade english teacher would killl meeee.

Anyway, back on this guy.. He's stupidly cute. Everything about him, from head to toe! His eyes are so bright for a gloomy guy like him. But he's so like not gloomy because he's like the most extroverted person I've ever met. He knows how to keep a conversation with anyone and everyone! Sure there's some people he hates and whatever but he's seriously such a sweet guy if you're not on his bad side.. It's easy to feel comfortable around him. And his voice is so boyish I swear, I melt everytime he speaks. The fact he makes music and sings on his songs makes it all %100 even better!! I get to listen to his voice whenever. I'm his #1 fangirl forever and ever <3 His hair is stupidly long but like in a cute way. I know there's other girls that fawn over him, I definitely do not have a chance compared to the rest but if he gave me that chance, I swear, I'd love him unconditionally. I wish I could tell him. He has a concert in 2 months from now, I'm super excited. Even though it's like across the country, as long as it's for him I don't mind. 

If you're him and you're reading this, I'm sorry if I like totally creeped you out. My feelings are true though. I've never liked a guy this much it's hard not to gush about you like this.