Your refrigerator is running

I was feeling sooooooo good and productive and i applied to some jobs last night and i fucking slayed working on my poster today trying to flesh out a plan but all of a sudden i hate everything again and i have no motivation again.

There was a fire alarm at the museum last week from the restaurant at the bottom of the building and i guess something went wrong with the humidifier (there was a moisture lock for fire-safety purposes and apparently it never got flipped back on after the alarm went off so all weekend its been humid and damp in the gallery... so nice) so everyone at work is scrambling and busy and stressed out and I feel like im just adding to the stress by being there rn. i know im not but i feel that way. so im a little worried about how im gonna get this project done in time. but im actually really enjoying all the dumb carbon-neutral shit that ive added to it. I hope they like the idea so i can dig into it more in the next couple of weeks. but im worried about how little time i have left.

I got a callback this morning from one of the job applications but im realizing i think its like a commission thing which is FINE but not if im sitting at foldup tables outside of walmart all day trying to get donations...thats not what im tryna do. but theres a webinar tomorrow morning that ill do so hopefully itll clear up any questions.

If i dont like it, i dont feel like i have to do it. I think im gonna reach out to Beniot worst-case and see if hed be willing to do aspire with me for GLAAM or whatever its called. idk i just need money 

=(

karissa sewed the button onto my pants for me just now without me even asking her. thats my B

Tonight were gonna buy drinks and weed and watch a movie at the gallery theatre- back to the office! lol. but the webinar isnt until 11 so i get to sleep innnn and slack off a bit tomorrow which is nice.

I like having this blog. i feel like i panic about stuff but then i have the chance to step back and put it all down and see that it really isnt all that bad. ill be ok. its just interpersonal nonexistent bullshit and... dad. i guess his bosses wrote him up for working late and also for the memory thing. it just makes me fucking mad. like why are we doing all this shit. you have to be actually evil. fuck wells fargo. i know he is smart and hard working and soooo capable if they would just give him an actual fucking job to do and not treat him like a child. i feel so bad for him. he is so so scared. when i think about myself in contrast, i have nothing to worry about. i have so much potential ahead of me. so many opportunities. and people who believe in me. i dont think dad has many of those people right now. im not sure he even feels like his family believes in him. sometimes i think we dont, to be honest.

I dont know, guys. i know i have more 2 say but my laptop is being a glitchy pain in the ass so im done. peace out