fully free in a world not built for me
sitting on the patio stairs in a thunderstormÂ
surrounded by dirty solar panel lights and all the backyard plants my mom forgot to care for
(the ones facing the world out front deserve her care more)
i wanted to slit my wrists or drink or smoke
but im experiencing it all sober
a chemical imbalance in my brain dulls my senses
i can’t see or smell or hear or taste
all that remains is the dull ache of tears held back
brimming behind my eyes
im not even really sad right now
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