IDK

2 days left till June ends and the first 6 months of the year will officially end and honestly, I don't know what I have gained probably the 4 kilos that I have lost but I do not know what changes I have made. Let me think deeply. 

I have an ID now so I can start looking for online jobs and hustles 
I have lost 6 kilos the first 6 months then gained it back when I went home for the summer. 
I passed 1 certification exam out of 2. 
I saved up some money then spend it all it wasn't even much in the first place

AAAHHH i don't know these are not great achievements its not enough. I should've been around 60 kilos by now or I should have saved up more money and I should be ahead with my studies and preparing for my industry but NO. aaahhhh 

I told myself earlier this year that I would sacrifice this year for improving myself. I would limit going out with friends so I wouldnt over eat and spend too much and use that time to focus on studies and finances and investing. I didn't go much to events BUT I DIDN'T DO PRODUCTIVE THINGS EITHER. now there's only 6 months left of the year. I hope this time is enough 

This year is focusing on making myself better. basically in analogy I am trying to make my garden more beautiful and just focusing on improving myself first. I have so many things to make myself better such as making connections, friends, relationships, putting myself out there but the first step, I believe is focusing on me. my confidence, my self worth, my skills I DO NOT KNOW WHERE AND WHAT I AM GOOD AT, what hobbies I want to learn, what personality I want to embody, what values I want to believe KNOWING MYSELF EVERYTHING ALL OF IT. 

I really hope this last 6 months will be worth it.