i wish i had a better vocabulary but i dont think a word even exists in the english language for this

"i will take this moment like poison, let it be the last thing i'll ever know" is probably my favorite line ive ever written.

i carry it everywhere with me, tucked in the back of my mind.

every time i look at him.

i keep trying, to fit it into poems. i can never seem to describe the moment as heavy as it weighs on me, as strong as it fills my lungs.

there is no one moment in particular, i could say this for every day that i have loved him. every second i have known.