John Horne's FUCK IT! game reviews: Mario's game gallery!

IT'S-A-ME: JOHN! Today I'm reviewing a classic game by the guys over at interplay: Mario's Game Gallery! Why am I reviewing THIS of all things? well, I was just playing it and thought it would be funny to review some DOS-trash. So, what is Mario's game gallery? well, it's a licensed Mario game released by Interplay for MS-DOS. you play against Mario in several different games, including checkers, go fish, dominoes, backgammon, and Yacht.

Yes, you are playing board games with Mario. Each one starts with a fun intro animation somewhat related to the game itself. Anyway here's the breakdown for all of them

Checkers: a truly difficult game, Mario's AI is fucking amazing at this game. oh, and just a head's up, turn off forced jumps. I only won one time and ended up in a stalemate another. Mario is built flawlessly, and the only way to win it to brute force him. If you want a challenge, this is the game for you, if you want to have a fighting chance, it isn't. 4/10

Go Fish: if checker was hard, this shit it easy, Mario is really bad at go fish, asking for things he just took from you, and almost never actually getting what he fishes for. at times he can get a book on  the very first turn, though, which isn't fun, but it doesn't happen consistently. also, Mario has certain things he looks for obsessively, these things change every game, but it is REALLY noticeable. now, let me talk about Mario's VOICE ACTING. Mario is voice acted by Chris Martinez, this was one of his very first appearances as Mario,  his voice acting is top notch, especially in go fish. There is another voice actor, though. that being some irritating fucking kid who constantly says "MARIO GO FISH". it's voice is like nails on a fucking CHALKBOARD! 7/10, fun game, bogged down by one voice-line.

Dominoes: have you played dominoes in RDR2 or a shitty Facebook/ mobile game (IYKYK)? it's like that, not exactly, though. whoever has the biggest double goes first, put said biggest double down, Mario puts a connecting picture to it, and you have to find a domino with the other side's picture on it. pretty simple. most of Mario's voice-lines are recycled from checkers, and his head is WAY too small for his body, overall it's a rather boring game, pretty easy. if you like the game dominoes this is fun, but don't expect anything crazy.  5/10

Backgammon: You know how dominoes reused checkers' lines? This one does that too, but it's REALLY noticeable. He constantly says the same lines over and over again. backgammon, was boring, and at times annoying because of Mario's constant repetition. 3/10

Yacht: what is yacht? it's Yahtzee. They just didn't have the rights for the name "Yahtzee", so it's Yacht. Mario is fun and fair, and his rolls are realistic. No, a Yahtzee of 6 isn't "unrealistic", just not common. It's a fun game. 10/10

Overall score: 6/10, fun game, I recommend you try it.