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its 1AM and there are eyes on me everywhere but none of them see me

my lover doesn't love me but he's just a boy

whats my excuse

i am not divine

i am corrupted

no 

i am inherently impure

there is something wrong with me no prescription drug can fix

not midodrine or propranolol or lexapro or zoloft or xanax or adderall

not a sickness of the mind or the body but rather the soul

i feel God in everything but myself and it burns deeply

a kind of hurt that can't be kissed better or drugged away or healed by time

its not even real

it hurts more than anything and it hurts every night

my phantom pains are terminal