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soo uh i got my stuff back finally
[[big vent ahead]]
and my health hasn't really improved, so i'm going to a specialist at sick kids within the next 3 weeks. not very fun
my doctor said he didn't want to see me in person anymore since i'm not getting better and everything is staying the same. i've been on five different medications so far and i'm on two new ones, so seven altogether. this last medication is my last chance to get better while at home. if this doesn't work, i'll have to do in-patient treatment at sick kids, which is 3 hours away from my house. i don't think i can do this,, i'm freaking out actually. i can't even lie about that.
another thing, i'm having a huge flare up in multiple joints including my knee (which i dislocated a couple years ago) and my doctor is passing it off as growing pains. this shit is not growing pains, but she doesn't listen regardless of how much i tell her that. it's getting bad enough that i can barely make it through the day, and if i do, i'm laying in bed for the rest of the evening with heating pads and ice packs (probably not great for body temperature but whatever)
and people need to stop suggesting shit like bathing in pink salt or going for a run every morning to me. i'm fucking sick of it. they don't know how much of a struggle it is to get out of bed sometimes. even if i do tell them, its always "well, many people have it worse than you. you just have to try ___ and you'll see that i was right :)" and i am always so fucking close to either hanging up on them, or walking away.
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