a little sad

i feel like such a loser sometimes. like i love my friends but sometimes i feel like i dont have any, and that im alone. i feel like im just a big bother to everyone. i wanna be this cool,fun,pretty person but i don't feel like any of that. i want people to like me and to think of me sometimes. i hate big groups bc i just dont talk, and i watch. im tired of watching and feeling like a ghost. i feel like an alien in any group of friends im in. i try to talk but i feel like im ignored or looked at weird. i dont know maybe im overthinking