oblivious

when i look back, nothing was ever really okay. i was just born into it. i thought it was the norm. when did i experience genuine, pure joy that wasn't just childhood obliviousness?

maybe i'm just literally insane. trying to convince myself that i have no happy memories. i know i have some. but they keep saying, "why don't you remember? why don't you remember?" so maybe i really am just crazy.

i don't know what to think anymore. i don't know who i should believe. at first it was, "i hate thinking" but now i just don't want to think at all. it hurts my head so mujchhhhhhhhhhhhhn cdscjkndj my head hurts whenever i try to thinkmgnmsnnfmmmmmmmmmmake it stop