am I destined to be a stupid helpless idiot?

I try, I squeeze both my neurons real hard and still I can't do shit.

I wish I had the ability others have to comfort those they care about when they go through the absolute shit-piss-jizz infused garbage dumpster life is. 

I wish I wasn't an asshole and I don't want to lie to people, give them shit advice, say "it is what it is" just so they hang themselves because that's what I want to do the most whenever I get told that. 

I feel hopeless, and sad, and horny. 

It took countless rants to the same unresponsive people for me to get tired of myself and to get to the point where I'm not blowing off steam anymore and actually getting more stressed because of the fact its just me talking to a speechless vegetable, now I cover my rants with thick layers of irony and feces which worked for a while but I'm running out of  words to use and frankly I'm getting gangbanged irl by my other problems so my head is a fucking mess right now.