liesel

i miss you

i wish i had never stained the bowtie you got for me as a gift. i wish i had watched all the tedious documentaries you talked about together. i wish i knew how to tend to our flower garden better. i wish i had understood more about the chemistry and biology lessons you gave me when you had the time. i wish we had gone to venice together. i wish i had visited your hometown more. i wish i could've made a better impression on your grandma. i wish i wasn't so afraid you'd say no so we could've gotten married sooner. i wish i hadn't accidentally lost your pet rat that time. i wish i'd told you i love you more. i wish i'd gotten you more flowers, even though you told me we had enough to fill two bedrooms. i wish i could've had more power to support you back in our teen years. i wish i knew how to comfort you with words even if you tell me it's okay that i don't know what to say sometimes. i wish i'd gotten you every carnival prize from that amusement park, i'm sorry my aim is so bad. i wish i'd learned more about painting, you're my muse and you deserve better than my faulty realism. i miss going to the theatre with you. i miss teaching you about photography. i miss our fun dates. i miss going to restaurants and pretending we're critics, leaving long reviews on apps. i miss tagging along with your colleagues on outings and pretending i know any of the substances with big names. i miss our banter. i miss telling you bad jokes and seeing you roll your eyes. i miss many things but nothing compares to how much i miss you. i hope you and rory will take care of each other.