[OTHERKIN] Deer demon/wendigo transformation

Disclaimer: If you are a hater of all therian/otherkin/voidpunk individuals, I may politely ask you to leave. If you comment something hateful here, your comment will get deleted. I might deserve the hate, but my non-human readers do not. However, if you're a human who respects otherkin and want to use this as a reference for creating a story, go ahead! It would be silly if VivziePop read this and created a character based off of me. Also, if you're reading this to turn into a demon/wendigo to be cool or, like some Hazbin fans might, to "be like Alastor", I highly discourage it. I will not turn anyone unless they're in a similar situation I was in, that is, when my heart wasn't "ice", I was so in love I was at risk of hurting myself. If that is the case, then I will turn you, but only if it's absolutely necessary.

Without further ado, let's begin!!!

It started off with me falling in love with my best friend. I only realised after he admitted that a girl confessed to him. After some time, I decided to confess as well, to maybe feel better, but later that day he admitted that he already accepted the other girl's confession. I pretended like I was alright, but I kept crying and even once hurt myself. That week was my graduation day. I was supposed to be happy, but I was depressed. I was sitting by my other friend who used to have a crush on me, and I was thinking how I couldn't have anyone but the friend who had just rejected me. It even felt uncomfortable to sit by him, even though I (platonically) love him. After I came home to prepare for my graduation party, I burst out into tears. I remember that my best friend (not the one I was in love with) found out I hurt myself, so she called me. Then, she revealed that the girlfriend of my friend is someone I thought was MY friend as well. I was hurt even more. I felt backstabbed. I thought that maybe me and that girl would both feel left out, so that we could support each other. But no, she was the lucky one.

The transformation happened at my graduation party. We were sitting by the campfire with my classmate friend I mentioned earlier and since he realised that he is no longer under the school's control, he decided to scream out how annoyed he felt with our school counselor. He's autistic, so the counselor was really wary of him, personally, I think, too much. She didn't even let him talk with me in class even when I was literally helping him. So, he screamed "Miss [insert name] annoys me!". So I decided to do the same and scream about this backstabbing. I screamed so loud that the whole class was terrified: "HOW DARE YOU [insert name]". After that I felt better. My severe heartache suddenly stopped, I could text my ex-crush without crying... At first I thought this was caused by the alcohol I have drank. But I only drank like a little bit of vodka, I wasn't drunk, maybe a bit tipsy.

I thought I would feel the pain and love again the next day, but all that remained was rage. It was just so... sudden. And after some time I realised I no longer want a romantic relationship with anyone. I thought I was antiromantic, but then I discovered what caedromantic is. This is acquired aromanticity caused by trauma. Of course, this event wasn't that traumatic, but my romantic attraction was already weakened from a different trauma. I was probably demi/greyromantic by the time. So that is basically why despite being aroace I used to have crushes and one serious relationship. And that is the metaphor of the wendigo's heart of ice. I turned aro. This was part of the transformation, I just didn't know yet.

A few days before the realisation I started developing in interest in consuming human flesh. Also, a bit of an interest in Hazbin Hotel's Alastor (he's a deer demon). 

Then, one day I woke up and realised I am probably not robotkin. While I absolutely adore robots, I also adore water, and electricity doesn't mix well with water. I thought maybe I was a mermaid, but I wasn't sure. So I started questioning a few kintypes: like demonkin, vampirekin or werecatkin. I couldn't know which one should I try, so I made a roulette. Then, I set an intention for it to tell me what I am and it said I might try identifying as a deer demon. 

It was nice, but at first I didn't understand why. Basically, demon forms usually reflect the way people died, but I couldn't find the link. Then, one day, I stumbled upon a mention of a wendigo. A wendigo is usually depicted as a deer-like creature nowadays. I searched it up and apparently someone can turn into one from being rejected by the person they love. It all suddenly made sense. My demon form was deer-like because the rest of my humanity died like a wendigo is born. 

I decided to make this blog post since lately I've seen a person struggling to understand whether or not they're turning into a vampire. I might be evil from the incident, but I'm not a terrible person. I want everyone to embrace who they are, no matter if you're human or not. Let's just act like we're in Monster High. Being non-human only makes us unique. However, as I stated earlier, I will not turn you unless it's absolutely necessary. Also, to get turned you need to believe real hard, but sometimes it can happen randomly, like in my case, where I just thought I was alcoholised at first.

XOXO Pawlina!!!