titled things i know to be true 05/30/2024

open communication like we have today has done wonderous things for the world but i cannot help but notice it’s downsides in the way we communicate with one another. when did love become a natural thing to expect out of life. was it always a part of life or was it truly a more rare thing? i can’t help but fear the idea of love was merely man made. maybe the way we see it today is wrong. i wonder if the idea of being able to see the world more freely has destroyed our appreciation for what is around us. why is it a strange thing to believe that someone you met purely out of proximity was not the fabled one true love you are supposed to be with. even sex becoming less taboo in its manner of empowering women has had its downsides. i wonder if the simple ideas hold more truth than we could ever realize. knowledge, like every other thing in this universe, is a fractal. it never begins or ends although it builds off itself. the more we come to understand, the more we seem to lose. is that not a terrifying thought? we’re improving upon the ideas of those before us but we are in no way more knowledgeable than them. is it not a egotistical stance to believe that we are somehow more knowledgeable than them because we have the ability to know more? our technology is not our own supply of knowledge. have we lost the art of maintaining? i believe i know more so the idea that my brain was being used more than my ancestors was normal to me. that was the only possible explanation. how did they not lose their minds not knowing what we know. is it true that we were not meant to perceive period pieces? have we even created something that has been remotely accurate to the truth. do our impressions of the world have that much impact on what we create? would we even be able to know the truth to that question? will it become clear to us after our lifetime. i wanted to think that a peaceful afterlife is one where we see the movie of life. what if that is what we are living right now? technology mimics nature. we have long since been aware of the idea of our bodies merely being a projector of something more. what put our conscience and this body together? was there a reason. my chest hurts when i think about all the possibilities. so many variables came together, ranging from life changing ideas to the smallest of gestures between companions, that brought me to right here. my life is more than my life. i am the creation of an in numerous amount of choices. i wonder how much pain or joy is behind me. i wonder how many times i was created out of love? i wonder who the first instance was and how they rationalized their own thoughts. i wanted to say my joy is discovering new questions but the longing for answers with no relief dissipates my feelings. i wonder if i could find calm in the idea that the answers will come to me as i live. if i live in my thoughts, what will i miss? will my reality begin to collapse upon itself? will i be the end of a line that runs so far back the beginning is not known? is that the meaning of life? to make your choices and continue your line? will it end if i don’t? will i be able to rest? will i be able to go home?