reflextions

i had a rabid manic episode today, and i was having more fun  than anyone could ever imagine, and then my mother [V] decided to give me a valium. hence, i have been forced into being calm when i had all these ideas and things i wanted to do.

 yes, mania maybe terrifying to her but for me, it is the only time i will be able to get things done and that's significantly more important to me than not shaking or moving or doing everything at once. i need to do all these things now, or they will never get done.

 but of course the socially acceptable thing to do is to take a pill and stop doing absolutely anything productive that you've been wanting to do. today i did a lot, and no one will notice or take care of that. i have to go to my caseworker tomorrow and what do i say? 

 i can't tell her of the 36 y'know what's nor the 23 / triangle delusion bcoz i will be institutionalized when i absolutely need to create and speak to other people. taking that away from me will end badly. i don't know what's really come over me.

 today i even made friends. since when do i do that? it's fun. i love people. people cannot appreciate a good, genuine, fucked up realistic horror thing. look away, look away, look away ... it isn't like i care too much. the dev of the thing i'm thinking of is a shitdick anyways.

hoping to find issues 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 of house of secrets.

 anyways, hello and hi from harley nyon.