hectic but the best

I had so much fun this past couple of weeks, several weeks ago i joied community theatre and it was time to perform the weird old fashioned lighthearted comedy, and it was amazing to blow off some steam with some like minded people, when i was young, i wanted to be an actr, but like, not a serious actor, just a ,id tier, min, wage actor or do a few extra gigs, i think they call them su[pporting artistes now.... but you get what i mean... 

It was an amazing tech week, however we did have this woman who was prompting, which basically means she feeds lines onto teh stage for actors that forget stuff... thing is she shouts in the middle of performances as well whcih is motifying... and she is the type of person who gets off on the power dyna,ic of embarassing people, so there were a few people, inckuding me who got pulled through teh coals, then i find otu its because she had covid, which caused brain fog and she is annoyed because she wants to eb on stage, but ironically cant remember lines.... not taht i can either... there used to be a time when my working memory was great and i was able to actualy remember entire scenes almost word perfect with also other actors ues, and coud talk the scene back round if things fell to shit, now i can only do the bare min. which isnt bad... it just sint what it was... 

on my way home after the last night of the show, i got a message on backstage that i was invited for a short film... a orror comedy in north wales and could i eb there to tomorrow... teh rate was average, but the director looked amazing. 

I jumped at the chance, so i spent the last few weeks pretending to be an actor, and postponing bookings etc, which felt amazing, but also makes me feel a bit big headed in so far as i really do want to do tarot as my job, and be a bit flexible because chronci illness and also pursuing the things i wanted to do as a kid... ok so it will never be hollywood or anything, but surely that doesnt mean that i should give up in teh pursuit of spemthing people who are miserable themselves wont  make fun of, when they already sneer at me for being disabled anyways....