Day 134 of reading poetry with Helena Bohnam Carter

Hello, Moth fan stans! We have made it to the end of another week! Next week shall be easier! I have not been in a good mental state these days, starting to get all anxious and paranoid again. But I'm good now! That was earlier in the day...

• Close CALL!
• It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes! (Mentions of death and murder)
• Green flag!
• BACK! BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!
• Movie Monday! (It's Friday!)
• Recommendation of the day! 

Today in my exam, I was a little discombobulated, I was walking to the usual writing venue and this guy told me that I had to write somewhere completely different. I was so out of it in fact, that I was standing, staring into space and my friend jump scared me and then the worst part is that I went into the exam venue and they were reading the rules, my science teacher gave a little speech and I was like all day dreamy and I forgot that I had my phone on me. Thankfully, I caught the attention of a lovely examiner who is not mean and she's an external worker so she's thinking priority one, she has to put the seniors at ease for the exam and she was like, "I'll hang onto your phone, I've got it in a little sleeve, I wrote your name on it, it's near my bag so it'll be safe, write well and stay calm" that shit, lovely examiner. The exam went well, it was easy for a physics test, I might do....not well but... fine... it is physics after all... 

I have written about the second song on Ex-military, GUILLOTINE!!!! IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES, IT GOES! YUH! A song that I hated at first but I kinda like it now, it's a good insight into Death Grips song writing process. Well, not really but like it's about Ride's attitude to song writing. He compares making music to murdering people???? Ride??? It's a really interesting song, there's like a metaphor comparing to a cult killer??? Ride???? Zach???? I love Zach and Ride though! They're so toxic yaoi. I saw a tiktok slideshow once and they showed the two girls from Jennifer's body and said "me and bro if we were toxic Yuri" and the terms toxic yaoi and toxic Yuri have ruined my life. Everything is a toxic yaoi and a toxic Yuri. I'm in a toxic yaoi! Oh and Andy... I like Andy, he's also crazy talented but like he feels like when you're watching a show and then they introduce a character near the end of the show and they're a good character but like too late. I just imagine Zach and Ride having such an intimate relationship and what I'm about to say may be triggering if you find topics of suicide triggering so maybe skip to next section! But Ride said in one song that he'd let Zach use his "noose" in On GP and that's... sweet?? It's a metaphor for him opening up to Zach and allowing him to see his darker side and also a metaphor for Death Grips... wait... comparing music to a noose???? Death method??? Comparing music to death??? No way??? It's all connected!

I read more Blue Flag and I think that I'm burning through it too quickly! I have like 27 chapters left???? I might finish this by Monday! I have some thoughts of course! I shall report to my capos in full detail when I have time! Here is my summary for the foot soldiers and associates! That set of chapters was a trudge to get through, I enjoyed it or I wouldn't have read like 10 chapters but I don't know, I was tired but I wanted to read more and more. And ITS FINALLY HERE! THE STUFF IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! Well, I won't spoil... I feel like more people read this now, last year it was like 3 people reading consistently and I was one of them and so I just spoiled fire punch as I was reading. I won't do this for those who haven't read though! I just think the main character is so relatable. All the characters are! I love when someone makes me love every character! Legitimately, I love every character in this manga! Even the gamer girl or the girl who became a gamer, that's not a spoiler, I don't think. I think I love Futaba even more now! There was a big reveal and it all clicked for me! It all makes sense! The way she acts and everything, she's a masterfully written character or we'll say "they" umm, I've had this happen with Togata from Fire Punch too, where if I referred to him using feminine pronouns, that's just shitty, if I refer to him with masculine pronouns, that's spoiling, so THEY! That's still misgendering but I needed a compromise and Futaba hasn't taken that jump yet so I don't know... I know damn well where it's going though... I've been in a similar spot...

Okay, I'm back! Frfr! I'm back to drawing again! Why?? I'm embarrassed to admit actually... I wrote a bulletin about that Fallout new vegas video... that one titled ONE FOR MY BABY and that inspired me to draw... I drew something unrelated to NV though. I mostly drew some faces and all that. I did the old reliable, go on pinterest and draw random things you see. Hopefully I improve and i think I am! I don't know if I wanna post it but I have a more long term end goal for my art, I don't just wanna draw but I wanna become experienced in using paints. My bulletins reach more so I'll ask for tips there when I actually start, I don't see painting as a part of my plans at this very moment but in future, I'd like to try it, I just wanna master drawing first.

I'm watching Schindler's list tonight. It's three hours long and I planned to watch it at 6pm, it's 9pm and I'll only get to watching it at 10pm and I'm not staying up so I'll have to segment it then. I first have to listen to this stupid 21 Pilots album, Clancy! MID! I just wanna watch this movie. I only watch 3 hour movies during exams weirdly enough, Casino during finals last year, Irishman during midterms last year and Apocalypse Now during finals last year as well. It looks like it'll be a good movie! I'm excited! I'm so excited but...21 pilots... 

Recommendation of the day! Helena Bohnam Carter reading poetry, that's it. Self explanatory, great video...

Poetry

Anyway, good night chat! If I alarmed you at the beginning of the blog, don't be, I feel great now! Don't worry, thanks for reading!