彡►♪Miserable ★彡 (ENG) Pt.2

Direct continuation of: Miserable-Pt.1, mentioned so that the reader has continuity with my blogs and the experience is more pleasant! :"D

After having gone through the most pleasant and satisfying moment of my life, the next day we chatted again, since she did not have social media, she couldn't answer my piece of paper.

Once again, grief strongly invaded my delicate body, I felt that at some point I would fall apart, but the desire to be able to be her friend whispered to me ideas of how to continue the conversation. She asked me for my Discord (Strange -.-) I gave it to her, that same day she added me, we had a very long talk, it seemed like time had stopped for me, I just wanted to waste the rest of the day getting to know her, spreading my curiosity in each message that I sent, my evolution was moving as a being lacking friends had been able to start a conversation with a person outside my 5 senses.

This friendship was something experimental for both sides, I found out that she was like me, in the sense of not having friends, knowing the purpose of having one and, most importantly, trusting persons.

She questioned the fact of how I got to know her, why I decided to approach her, i commented with great enthusiasm that I found her way of dressing interesting, she inspired me a lot in the artistic and social sphere, it seems that i responded very firmly and she had nothing else to understand, finally she agreed to take me a little deeper into her environment.

The day ended and I was happy to be able to genuinely talk about our interests without feeling judged or uncomfortable, our friendship was mutual and honest.

That night we started talking more and more through chats, since sometimes i simply couldn't speak to her in class. The conversation arose about whether we collected anything, she said no, but that she would love to start with some objects of interest, I suggested that she could start collecting CD's since they are not that expensive, in addition, taking the opportunity to invite her to a record store that I go commonly in my city.

She liked the idea, we agreed on a friend hangout, since we had a week's vacations. The day approached, I was sure that she would be fine and that there would be no inconvenience, I mentally prepared myself for the next day to get ready.

I got up early, I had left everything ready at home, my cat's food and even cleaned my sister's room so that she wouldn't disturb my day, I had put on my casual clothes and, most importantly, I felt confident in myself. Hiding my true nature as a depressed man with no aspirations, I had finally silenced those murmurs of several years blaming me for the person I am now.

I arrived at the place where we met and saw her there, standing waiting for me, when she saw me she was happy, I was even more so because I knew it would be a pleasant day.

We spent a long time looking at what we liked, talking about music as well as chatting about ourselves, it was a pleasant moment and I even made fun of her because sometimes she just waits for me as if she were some kind of guard dog, she was teasing me because that day I had forgotten to bring my card.

She had bought him a record from her favorite band “Paramore” and I bought some records from some artists she wanted to listen to. Later we continued our day, we went to a large library, we went to eat a pizza of questionable quality, but she liked it and finally we went to a cafe, this was the most important part of our time.

We talked for 2-3 hours, I had really had one of my best days which I enjoyed every second talking to her, i treasured these memories with great affection, I remember that we started talking about our interests, she took out a deck of cards, we started playing For several minutes, I also suggested that we should draw ourselves as animals. She drew me as a caterpillar and I as a pigeon, it was very funny, but the important thing here is that inevitably there was a lot of eye contact that I am not so used to given my insecurity when dealing with people, I didn't give it importance, it was already enough within the environment that things that tied me in the past I simply rejected.

We just let time flow, inevitably we got to the point of having nothing to talk about, my social energy was exhausted and she was happy that I had asked her out when she had nothing to do.

We went to the train station accompanied to the place of departure, we were silent waiting for the train to arrive, I was genuinely tired but deep down that day I had created emotions of affection for this person. I felt guilty, I wanted to tell her how much I like being with her but I knew that this person already belonged to someone, feeling so disappointed in myself for having done what I shouldn't have done, I was thinking about all this when suddenly, I see that the train she would take had arrived.

The inevitable goodbye was approaching with all this burden that was killing me, I just wanted to die in her arms, she would tell me that everything would be okay, that she would tell me once again how much she appreciates me, when I turned around she was saying goodbye to me, I returned the greeting. farewell, the train had taken my sorrows and guilt with it.

As if it were a movie, the train moved slowly, my long hair moved with the breezes of the wind, and soon after that emptiness that always exists on the lonely trains of New York returned.