am i still young?

can i dream for a few months more.

i 'd do just about anything to be a child once more. even for a couple minutes.

i feel like my relationship to my mom is so drastically different from when i was young. i wonder what changed, i'm still her kid, i'm still me. 

the only time i feel like i'm my mother's child again is when she brushes my hair on the off-occasion. it's strange to be almost twenty and still want your mom to brush your hair. something i've done on my own for years now. yeah, quite strange lol. 

i hope when i die, it'll be welcoming. like when you start to drift asleep in your mother's arms as a kid again, you know? she's just there, humming silently & moving her fingers across your head and face. 

i hope there's happiness waiting for me in death. :)

stay soft and tender, syver.