Day 132 of being noided

Today was better than yesterday, I got quite a bit done, I'm satisfied, I'd say. Yeah! Satisfied! I'm happy! 

• Without warning... HEART ATTACK! 
• Ooooooh... DORIIIAAAANNNN!
• I CLOSE MY EYES AND WRITE IT!
• I wuv you, Mister Ride!
• I love Jamie Stewart too!
• Recommendation of the day!

This was the most stressed I've been before an exam, you need your ID for every exam and we were about to enter the venue so I feel around in my pockets and no wallet, no ID, nothing, I thought that I had forgotten my wallet at home but I checked my bag to find my wallet containing my ID but that's not all! When I entered the exam venue and I was taking out my stationary, I took out my ruler and then I couldn't find the rest, I searched, I dug my hand deep inside my bag only to find it hiding somewhere in my bag. Two mini heart attacks. However, I wrote fine. I mostly made shit up tbh, i didn't study for it as much as I should've and I won't make that mistake for my next exam! 

Almost done with Dorian Gray actually! I will finish it tomorrow and I read this book in segments, I would not pick up the book for days and then read it again and that's not ideal, I think maybe Dorian's descent should've been gradual to the reader but like not for me because I keep taking massive breaks in between and it's gotten to the point where I'm uncomfortable reading it, in a good way, of course. It's an amazing book and art should sometimes disturb. But like, the person that Dorian has become, it's just damn. You watch his innocence whittle away yet he still looks young and before you know it, you're left with a shell of a man who has nothing behind his beautiful face except for pure, unadulterated ugliness. Damn, I gotta read something lighter after this. I do read two books at a time but I wouldn't exactly call Angela Davis particularly light. 

I have already decided to review ex-military, the first ever Death Grips album. It's really good. If you've seen my bulletin, I'm sorry, I will be rehashing. I wanna write a music review, I never really stated why though or atleast I wasn't specific. I said it's because it's cool that other people can talk about music but I read a really good review of The Downward Spiral on AOTY by one of my friends who has taken up writing and she is genuinely so good! She's got a knack! I wanted to write something like that. Anyway, in that bulletin, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to review Ex-military or atleast on Death Grips record but I decided, I'd review them all. I love them all. Even Fashion Week...

Death Grips isn't too big on this site, I've met like one person who fw them really. I understand why they're not so well loved here. Their music can be uncomfortable, not that I'm saying it's the most underrated and out there music, no, not at all but to people on here who are not used to that, it can be strange and hard to get behind. But I'm under the impression that art doesn't have to exist to make you feel good or to sound good and Death Grips does sound good but it's different. I don't know, I love them. I feel I've grown with them and some of their albums moved me so deeply, Ex-military, Powers That B, No Love Deep Web, Bottomless Pit, if we're including non album releases, Steroids. They're all amazing and I love all of Death Grips. There's no one else really like them and I've heard musicians be compared to Death Grips but they were special and to me they still are. Holding out for a new full length album. Fingers crossed. 

You want another out there band? Xiu Xiu. I think Spaceheyers will fw Xiu Xiu more. I guess Xiu Xiu is more politically aligned with the people here. I don't know. I'd say Death Grips is pretty progressive because a lot of trans girl fw them, if you ever see a beautiful trans woman and then you're like "damn, I wish I could date someone like her" then listen to Money Store and go to the next Death Grips concert and you'll get your wishes. I should charge people for this. If you want a cute trans girlfriend, drop me a million bucks right now, my PayPal is Scaring_the_moths, million bucks right now and I'll tell you what music the trans girls are listening to. Anyway, the point I was trying to make. Oh boy, here come the rambles! Ummm, the vocalist for Xiu Xiu is non binary and is also always advocating for trans and lgbt rights which is cool! Let me get my opinion across! I found out today that they're non binary and that's really cool, already, I have a kinship. I don't know, I'm not exactly in a position where i can do anything to present more androgynous and I've been feeling oddly dysphoric recently. I don't wanna be as masculine as I am rn, I wanna be different, I wish I could sever myself from my gender. It's not even that I wanna be more feminine, just that I wanna be less masculine. Anyway, I always feel as though I'm not allowed to be nonbinary which is a lie, everyone is. But like, i don't know, I'm not good at describing this. Anyway, I looked up Jamie Stewart, I was wondering how they looked and they're male presenting in all photos I saw of them. That's fucking awesome, they're male presenting and just as valid as the rest of us enbys. Isn't that awesome! I love Xiu Xiu! I love Jamie Stewart! Damn, I wanna relisten to A Promise. 

Recommendation of the day, this was a music heavy entry, wasn't it? So I should recommend something music related? Nah! How about something Sopranos related, here's two videos I love. One is a funny advert starring James Gandolfini and the other is a video about some of the more beautiful shots in the show. I usually catch onto beautiful cinematography but I never realized how beautiful The Sopranos was and I have a greater appreciation for that show than I already had if that's even possible. 

Sopranos vid 1

Sopranos vid 2

Anyway, good night, sleep tight, listen to Xiu Xiu, and thanks for reading!